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Johannes Edelbert Schlosser Empty Johannes Edelbert Schlosser

Post by Johannes E. Schlosser on Sun Sep 08, 2013 10:56 am


Johannes Edelbert Schlosser 333xtzcJohannes Edelbert Schlosser 333xtzcJohannes Edelbert Schlosser 333xtzc
” Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less “


Johannes Edelbert Schlosser



German American

[REDACTED], Schwartzvald, Germany

[REDACTED] Assumed to be slightly before World War I

Johannes Edelbert Schlosser 4i1s8h



“For the record, Mr. Schlosser, please describe you physique and general appearance.”

“Oh~ You get down to the nitty gritty physical so quickly! How naughty! Alright, so shall I start from my little piggies and go up or shall I start from the tip top and go down.”

“It really doesn’t matter, Mr. Schlosser.”

“Fine, from the top it is then! Well Let’s see here, I have hair and a head…a body, two arms (usually) and two legs.”

“…Let the record state in lieu of Mr. Schlosser’s personal description, the following. Mr. Schlosser is about two and a half meters tall and just under one thousand eight hundred kilograms. The vast majority of his skeletal structure is metallic in origin with some organic components that are currently classified. His torso’s outer shell is an artificially grown skin, apparently developed to withstand Inferis’ changing climate, and possesses five “screws” which line down the center line of his chest and stomach and a sixth which is placed over the left breast. While the purposes of these screws are beyond my clearance level, Mr. Schlosser has stated that they apparently coincide with Chakra nodes. While his internal structure’s exact details are currently classified, I have been made aware that the core is reinforced with carbon steel and Kevlar mesh along with a variety of defensive counter measures. His four limbs extend longer than the standard mean and are composed of a cord-like muscular system with a hydraulic basis. Mr. Schlosser apparently prefers to leave the musculature exposed for… aesthetic purposes. His arms end in plug like stubs with, from what I have been given privy to, three interchangeable pairs of hands. Currently, Mr. Schlosser is wearing a talon like pair which he refers to as the “Osprey Model Mk. 4” which apparently is capable of both fine dexterity and complex manipulation. Mr. Schlosser also possesses a crab-like pair used for defense referred to as the “Crab Hammer” but actually designated “Martel Model Mk 2” and a tertiary pair designated the “Tinman Typist” model. This tertiary pair takes the basic form of human hands of normal size and shape, however it is able to break into a large number of flexible digits capable of high-end multitasking and infinitesimal level manipulation. His legs are bent backwards in a manner similar to Ostriches, giving him a slow and low gait when walking however allows him to reach high speeds when sprinting. Both of his legs end in talons similar in shape and manipulative ability as his “Osprey” model hands. Due to his unique features, it has been deemed dangerous for him to work outside of Inferis without camouflage in the form of an “A-12 Dark Suit” that conceals his overall shape to something manageable.

“You completely forgot to add about my good looks, charm, and exquisite sense of style~”

…End Briefing.

So you want to get to know me personally do you? You want to see what makes the mind behind the mechanism tick and tock?~ Well I assure you, friend, that very few indeed can cope with the true inner workings of their own mind much less the mind of something far beyond them, hahaha!

Schlosser is somewhere between an utter madman and a genius, which has essentially limited his social interactions to taking note whether or not someone looks like a good specimen. Furthermore the fact that he is usually stuck in Inferis has slowly caused some level of mental degradation over time, making him prone to bizarre tangents, low attention span, and a complete lack of tact when it comes to details most would prefer unsaid. Schlosser see the world in essentially two lenses, those who will be useful as they are and those who will be useful as spare parts. This has caused a wide array of organizational friction as there are many who feel that his teetering upon the gray edge of morality often goes significantly further than what some Templars are willing to accept. Then again, as Schlosser would be quick to point out, the Templars did fuck things up significantly in two world wars, so they’ve nothing to complain about.

He tends to be a being of logic and reason, though unlike his literally minded “daughter” Devotion, Schlosser tends to be more prone to perhaps queer interpretations of logic and will often be fairly illogical or unreasonable should the feeling come to him. His unpredictability has made him a rather huge nuisance as it has been fairly difficult getting him to cooperate with agendas that do not align with his own personal plans. Luckily the Templar order has learned that it is easy to bargain with Schlosser when they own pretty much the vast majority of resources he requires for his projects. Thus he is very loyal to the Order and its overall purposes for a two-fold reason. First, he legitimately believes in the betterment of the human race through harnessing Inferis’ power. Second, he’d be royally screwed if they pulled his resources at this point. So to essentially get down to bare basics with Schlosser, he is an insane, violent, opinionated, too intelligent for his own good, surgery addicted douchebag with little regard to individual life and the general feelings and opinions of others. He loves to play but he never plays nice.

So, you wish to know my life? How I came to be? You want to get passed all of that red tape and bureaucratic nonsense with all of its redacted statements and other such madness? Well then, I applaud you for coming straight to the source! But I do find your interest in the past a little worrisome when the future is so much more important. Nonetheless I shall entertain your wishes.

Once upon a time in a dark land haunted by fairy tale creatures…Oh, you think I’m being a silly-ass are you? Well I’ll have you know that the Brothers Grimm did an extensive amount of research in the Schwartzvald and you should know better about the existence of such things, you are after all questioning a soul-powered cyborg in the middle of Hell! Hahaha! Anyways, as I was saying before your rude interruption: Once upon a time in a dark land haunted by fairy tale creatures, there was a child born to a young clockmaker and his wife, both of whom had long wanted a child of their own. Their excitement in having a child of their own knew no bounds as this was both a powerful symbol of their love for each other and the young clockmaker had always wanted a son that he could pass down his craft to. Of course it would be a while yet before the child could possibly tinker amongst the brass gears much less know the difference between a mainspring and an escapement! In anycase the couple was quite pleased with their lives at this point and for them it looked like a happily ever after was in their future. This was not, however, how things were to be.

You see there is this insideous organization that runs everything behind the scenes, an organization that will go out of its way to keep itself secret, even if it has to plunge the entire world into war...Oh? You say you know who I'm talking about? And you say you're not pleased with my term "insideous?" Well how would you like me to term the Templar Order in the eyes of innocent victims eh? In the eyes of a child barely old enough to lease his mother's teat? Eh? Eh?! Hahaha! I kid, I kid, I know now that what was done was done for good reason, the tears of that child mean nothing to me now, other than a lesson of childhood ignorance. In anycase, yes the First World War came to be, or as I remember it The Great War, due to the combined ignorance of the many "world leaders" and in our nessessary plans to keep them ignorant. This was, of course, rather a jarring experience for my yougner self, barely touching my teen years. The Empire, yes yes the German one with Emperor Wilhelm II and such, the Empire took two things from us in those early days, my Father's workshop- which was converted into an arms manufacturer, and then my Father, forced to fight and doomed to die upon the Western Front. While I had already progressed quickly in my apprenticeship with my father, I was not able to support my grieving mother and Europe had become much too dangerous a place for us in those years.

We escaped the country going North, eventually reaching the neutral Scandinavian countries and stowing away on a merchant ship in Oslo on route to the United States. The so-called land of opportunity provided many hours of labor and little else for my mother and I as we took what jobs we could. My mother worked in the textile factories, while I found myself in a glass factory, facing the swealtering heat and dangerous conditions with a bravery that only the desperate can show. I would come home late in the evening to boiled cabbage and the small table where I kept what scavanged gears and sprockets I could find. I was always tinkering, inventing, honing and learning more, trying to keep those skills my father taught me in my mind. However mere clockmaking was not something that could sate me, I knew that though it was a noble craft it was not one that would long be of use to a developing world, a world where technology was always moving forward and things like radios and aeroplanes were of significantly greater value than a mere kukoo clock.

As I grew and my mechanical skills increased, I was eventually noticed and offered a job at a munitions factory where I would nominally be there to fix and improve the various automatic devices, however I was also paid under the table to work on weapons development as my german heritage and lack of formal education was a bothersome factor to make public in those days. Of course nothing I made was given credit to me, no patents were cast in my name, however this mattered little to me as long as I was gaining knowledge and cash to support my mother and myself. My priority, however, were soon to be recast when a terrible accident at the textile mill would end in a roaring fire that took my mother and most of the undercode building. Life was now something that I lived alone with no other ties or binds, war and poverty having stolen what little I had. However something I now possessed was a drive, a drive to make myself greater, to make myself useful, to give myself power so that I would not have to face again the agonies of my youth. Of course, I might have gone a little insane with grief and the sudden delving into my work might have been a bit of escapism, but that was so long ago that I hardly remember the details. All that is important is that somewhere between boiling cabbage and working on the schematics for an improved howitzer model, two men in black suits burst down my apartment door and took me away.

Apparently the good folks for whom I worked for had a spy among their ranks, a man who worked for the government but reported to an outside agency....Yes yes! I am talking about the Templar Order you nit! I keep trying to get this to be dramatic, mysterious, give some personality to the tale, but no! No you want the bare facts! We have an audience to consider you ignorant fool! So many users out there reading this, judging it, JUDGING ME! What audience? Oh, you simple fool, how little you know. So, back to the story, yes the Templars noticed me, noticed my mechanical prowess despite my lack of education and well, they decided to educate me as it were. And oh it was glorious! A whole new world opened up to me, a world of cutting edge technology, of other dimensions, a world where I could reach out and make a change as it were. This was....oh, sometime before The Second World War, although I believe it was a round the time they started funding Hitler but before he went power mad...Oh? That's classified?...silly me, but you can just redact that later.

In any case something I quickly found out about the Templar order is that they like results but they don't really enjoy handing out funding like its fashionable, thus I had to make results happen in as few dollars as possible. While this resulted in....several head explosions, it did eventually produce increasingly complex and stable "CrossGears" though I deplore such a simple term. Furthermore I have been able to vastly increase the effectiveness of Augments over time, again admittedly it took some experiments upon Demon Hunters that did not end well for their various congealed limbs....but hey! You can't make an omelet without eviscerating some hapless test subjects right? Well, of course due to the various funding cuts and other such issues, I naturally became desperate again. It was very hard to get willing subjects, much less subjects that could survive prototype stages then go on to understand the mechanics, so it came down to the obvious and I had to start working upon my own person. While my meager staff seemed rather disgusted by the idea, they were less disgusted with it than they were with me using one of them.  This body you see before you is the Schlosser Mk. XXIX, though it is currently still in beta, we have other addons coming. wanted to know what has happened since World War Two? Well mostly I've kept to myself and my experiments as it were. Once my body became too unstable to stay on Earth I had the whole Research and Development Department moved to Inferis, which is perfect as it means I can work all day and night long without the need for pesky rest and such things. I took a couple of Georgian children at one time and did some experimentations on them, I believe the only one left alive AhAeAlApHmAeOhGeEisRiBnTsRaGnSeE!!!!! ahem and sane is that little doll of mine Devotion. She is a looker isn't she? Poor dear asked me for an Anus the other day, I have no idea what has gotten into her. In any case, here I stand before you today, the man without which the Templar Order would be fucked and behind the time. He I am, Johannes Edelbert Schlosser, International Man of Mystery!


Technologic Genius – As the head of the R&D Department for the Templar Order, Schlosser is currently sitting on the very teetering edge of scientific development, continuously producing items that break new ground and keep the Templars on top of the technological arms race.

Medical Genius- As part of his pursuit of various cyrbernetic improvements and technology, Schlosser has become an expert on anatomy and biology and is an excellent surgeon. He's just a little iffy when it comes to giving out pain medication.

Bullet Proof – A little bit more than just bullet proof, Schlosser’s core at least has layer after layer of carbon filament mesh and Kevlar that give him a rather powerful defense.

Fuck the Square Cube Law! – While in Inferis, Schlosser’s easy access to Soul Energy allows his body to both be structurally sound and gives him substantial enough strength to both haul it around and still be strong enough to go toe to toe with your average demon.

18 Dexterity – At least when he is using the right hands, Schlosser superhuman manual dexterity and fine motor skills allowing for exceedingly complex tasks and sleight-of-hand with relative ease.

HOT-SICK – Schlosser possesses a form that only the most bizarre and outlandish demon could love, something that Schlosser has learned to take to his advantage. As such he is fairly good at hiding amongst demonic populations for recon and research purposes. Additionally he is quite good at scaring the fucking shit out of uninitiated civilians.

No Pain…GAIN! – Schlosser, due to most of his form being techno-organic additions, is incapable of feeling pain in any part of his body except for his head. This allows him to push his body to maximum effect and is incapable of physical fatigue.

Interchangeable Parts – Schlosser, ever the pragmatist, likes to be prepared for any situations and as such has created a large repertoire of spare and specialized parts that he is capable of switching out as needed. These include various hands, feet, specialized sensors, and various other modifications

Ostrich Powers Activate! Schlosser’s legs have been designed for the dual purposes of increasing his overall speed and acting as stabilizers for his hefty weight. When moving at top speeds, Schlosser can maintain Olympic level speeds for extended periods or slightly passed that in short bursts. He also has a really mean kick.

Lets don’t get a-HEAD of ourselves. – As long as Schlosser’s head survives intact in Inferis, he can eventually be attached to a new body or a Soul-Energy Battery to be revived.

THE FUCK IS THAT? - Because of how hideously formed he is, Schlosser has a tendency to be mistaken as a demon by low ranking Templar, demon hunters, angels, and pretty much any civilian.

Strut Like A Cripple – Schlosser’s legs are great for running and if you need to reach something really high up, but not so much for walking. Schlosser tends to be forced into a very low and awkward penguin strut when he is walking short distances.

Soul Energy Dependent - Although he can operate for short times in the Real World with a Soul Energy Battery, his body works on such foreign concepts of physics that if he doesn’t have this energy source he will shut down and be rendered inanimate.

No Pain…NO GAIN! - The trouble with not feeling pain is not really knowing when to stop and as such Schlosser tends to push himself past the point of breaking and often required repairs to get back to top efficiency.

-18 Charisma – Schlosser is as repugnant in mind and soul as he is in body. This makes it rather hard for him to make nice with others.

Aw Shit, Physics! Even with his Soul Energy Battery, if Schlosser is in his main body and in the real world, he has to exert the vast majority of his power to keeping his body stable and mobile, making him extremely slow and weak.

English #009900
German Light Blue
Latin White
010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001 Binary
-- --- .-. ... .  -.-. --- -.. . Morse Code
Angelic blur-cyan
Demonic  fliph-darkred


- Probably related to Mengele somewhere along the line
-Is totally a virgin, this doesn’t really bother him though
-Likes the word orifice
-Thinks more people should have Krukenberg procedures done
-Hates to waste resources
-Feels… Fatherly towards Devotion
-Likes to screw with the Paladins when he can get away with it
-Has been known to bend rules when he feels like it will give him the overall advantage
-Is the leading human researcher into the understanding of Soul-Energy and from whence various occult skills arise from
-Is an Atheist despite being both a Templar and interacting with beings from beyond the grave
-Is probably the oldest living member of the Templar Order
- Despite not needing to eat any longer, he still on occasion eats Sauerkraut because he A) enjoys the taste and B) because it apparently reduces cancerous growths in his organic parts
-Is known for randomly handing out unfinished prototypes that tend to be very advanced, very powerful, and have a tendency to explode in one’s face…all for testing purposes.
-Is working on a method to make Inferis into essentially a free energy factory for Earth
-....Might have 4th Wall Perception



Aldrich or Seven

Paimon & Lucifuge

So long it makes me feel old.


[b]Alexis Calia/ Personal Commissioned Piece [/b] :: [b]Sangeki/Fogg/Schlosser[/b]
Templar R&D

Last edited by Johannes E. Schlosser on Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:15 am; edited 16 times in total

Johannes E. Schlosser

Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-09-07

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Johannes Edelbert Schlosser Empty Re: Johannes Edelbert Schlosser

Post by Alice the Chopper on Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:21 am

Archive date September 20th.


Alice | English | German  | Zulu | Demonic | Afrikaans
Eris | English | Greek | Demonic | French | Russian | Angelic

Johannes Edelbert Schlosser DvRaH1v

#E0115F | #FF00FF  | #FC2847 | #F75394 | #FF0090 | Alice
#CCCCCC | #FFD700 | #A020F0 | #B57EDC | #FF0000 | #FFFFFF | Eris
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Alice the Chopper

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Johannes Edelbert Schlosser Empty Re: Johannes Edelbert Schlosser

Post by Johannes E. Schlosser on Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:18 am

I think this bitch here is finished!


0110001001101001011011100110000101110010011110010000110100001010 Binary
-- --- .-. ... .  -.-. --- -.. . Morse Code

Johannes E. Schlosser

Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-09-07

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Johannes Edelbert Schlosser Empty Re: Johannes Edelbert Schlosser

Post by Alice the Chopper on Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:30 pm


Gusta long time.


Alice | English | German  | Zulu | Demonic | Afrikaans
Eris | English | Greek | Demonic | French | Russian | Angelic

Johannes Edelbert Schlosser DvRaH1v

#E0115F | #FF00FF  | #FC2847 | #F75394 | #FF0090 | Alice
#CCCCCC | #FFD700 | #A020F0 | #B57EDC | #FF0000 | #FFFFFF | Eris
Alice the Chopper
Alice the Chopper

Posts : 258
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Location : Johannesburger

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